"Huh?" Well, com'on!" she urged, and bemused I let curiosity play along as I took the doll and knelt before her. The corner night light behind her illuminated the wispy outlines of her hair eerily like a halo, but it also cast her face dark as her head eclipsed it so I could only vaguely make out any features, but you could sense her visage was very comely. I wished she could turn about or I could hit the light switch."Who--Who are you??" I asked."Stop fooling, Timmy, okay?? You took long enough to come back!" Timmy?? No, I'm Eddie!"She gave an audible exasperated sigh. "Will you stop playing around, okay?" I'm not playing around! Look at me! Timmy's asleep down the hall. You can check yourself!" Honestly! You know girls don't step into boys' rooms!" she chided as though even my dare was unseemly and un-catholic, then she made her Barbie dance to my Ken. "'Kenny, darling, what movie do you want to take me to??'" she said in a mimicked rich grown-up voice that changed back to her low. Gone.It felt like somebody had wrapped a band around my chest, and pulled it tight. I couldn't breathe. I turned away from Erica, so she wouldn't have to see me lose it. She'd suffered enough already. I felt the tears rise, unbidden, and I started for the gate. I had to get out of there.I barely made it as far as the driveway. It was too much. I closed the gate behind me and crumbled to the ground, seated with my head between my knees, my hands covering my head. It was Christmas, damn it! Christmas! My girls were supposed to be with me, shaking their presents and trying to guess what was in them. Instead Allora and Briana were gone. Their lives snuffed out before they could see anything of the world, before they could find their place, before they could fall in love. No shaking presents. No stomach aches from eating too many holiday sweets. No late night parties to drive me crazy with worry. No learning to drive. No struggling to find the right college. No bringing a boy home for the.
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